Selfies

Narcissistic and entitled are two words used to describe the "millennial" generation. We spend so much time being concerned for ourselves. We're constantly updating social media with irrelevant facts about our lives, taking pictures of ourselves, and making sure we can get as many compliments as possible. We also believe that we deserve things just for trying, that good things should automatically happen to us as long as we try. ---- These are the things we talked about at church this week and then at house church.

I've heard these things before but never really listened. I didn't agree. Sure, there are many people like this but not me. Or so I thought. As we were talking about it though I began to realize I'm just as guilty of these things as anyone else. When I realized this I was instantly angry with myself. I didn't want to fall into that stereotype, I tried so hard not to, but even my Facebook profile picture is a "selfie". I also understand why we are called entitled now too. I definitely don't think I deserve everything but I do get upset when I try really hard at something and then it doesn't go my way. I often think that things will be fine if I try my hardest.

We talked in house church about this more in depth. I really do not like these characteristics about myself. I think that I think about other people more than myself most of the time. I'm constantly concerned for others but I'm going to try harder. I don't want to be narcissistic. I guess having a blog goes against this... I also do not want to feel entitled. That is going to be hard though. I grew up being told "it's okay as long as you tried your hardest" and getting participation awards. I am going to work on these. I believe we are a caring generation and that we are much more than these things.

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House church was great. I really love it. I love that I have the opportunity to go and make new friends and talk about God and Jesus. It's really starting to be my favorite part of the week.

Every week we go around the room and say our name, major, and then have to answer a question. This week, the question was "if you could spend an hour with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?" I was really nervous to answer this. I new my answer but I didn't know if I should say it. I thought about just saying Judy Garland because she's my favorite actress but I knew that wasn't my real answer. I ended up giving my real answer. I would spend it with my best friend who passed away last summer. I was nervous because I didn't want to get upset and start crying, I also didn't want to bring down the mood. I will talk about her death more at a later point but for now I will just tell you that I am still having a very rough time with it.

After we discussed our generation we broke up into small groups of 3-4 people. We each took a turn to talk about the struggles we are going through at this time. I didn't know where to begin. I've been having a rough couple of weeks. I've been sick, I've been having more pain than normal, I'm exhausted, and am not motivated to try with classes. Because of all this, I didn't really want to go to house church that night. We then prayed for each other. After that we all hung out and played games, it was a lot of fun and put me in a much better mood.

Heading back I realized how much happier I was than when I had been earlier that evening. I was in a really good mood and honestly was feeling better physically as well. I'm a very strong believer in prayer, I've seen it do some pretty amazing things and I've been the one being prayed for many times. I definitely need to start praying more often. I used to do it so much and kind of stopped. I'm not sure why but that is going to change immediately.

This house church, and church in general, is doing so many wonderful things in my life right now. I love it more and more each week. I only wish others could have the opportunity that I do to have this amount of positivity in their lives each week.