A Fresh Start (with a BIG announcement!)

I've been wanting to write this for a few weeks but wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say, or really how I wanted to say it. So much good has been happening in my life lately that it's a little overwhelming. While I still have my bad days, I am truly happier than I've been in a very long time.

I have never read the Bible. This is something I try to be very honest about. I consider myself a very religious or spiritual person, so this often surprises people. My faith comes from my own personal experience. According to the doctors, my very life itself is a miracle. I wasn't supposed to live past two, and a few times I nearly didn't. In less than four weeks I will be 25. I have seen prayer do incredible things before my very eyes. I have felt His presence when I thought I was alone in the world. Going back to church while at Ball State reminded me of this. With His grace and love I have found my happiness. And the closer I come to Him, the happier I am and the more positive things seem to happen. Maybe it's because I'm looking for it, but I truly believe that is His doing.

I've been thinking that for a while. So, when I finally set out to write this, I decided to look for Bible verse about happiness and came across the following:

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

I love how there is always a perfect verse for whatever you are going through. The "desires" of one's heart can mean anything. For me, it was happiness and self-love. The more I accept His love, the more I love my life. Through all of the struggles He has been my one constant. The struggles are still very real but I know that, good or bad, tough or easy, He has a plan for me. While the last year hasn't been the easiest, things are finally starting to turn around!

In the last week, I have been able to go to a good friend's bridal shower, travel to Nashville for a concert with my mom and aunt, and just last night I got a voicemail from an admissions counselor telling me that I have been accepted at Southern New Hampshire University!!  It's been a fantastic week to say the least.

I have been out of school for over a year now, telling people I was just taking a break. That's not the entire truth. My depression returned and I basically stopped going to class, so my grades dropped too low. It wasn't just my classes I wasn't attending. I stopped going to church, I wasn't involved in any of the activities that I enjoyed like hall council or power soccer, and I didn't hang out with friends, even the ones right down the hall. That's what I regret the most. To the friends who kept reaching out, I'm sorry I didn't take advantage of that last bit of time we had together.

I could've re-applied to Ball State for this upcoming fall semester but I just didn't think that was the best choice for me. I had gone through three official majors and none of them were sticking. They weren't feeling right. A few months ago I decided to look into SNHU, after seeing and hearing the annoying ads for what feels like forever. I looked at the different online degrees available and a few stuck out to me. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I narrowed it down to psychology.

On a slight whim, I requested more information regarding the program. While I waited for the information, I kept researching about the school, the program, and the courses. By the time the admissions counselor emailed me a couple days later I knew that I wanted to do this and talking with him just confirmed that. So, I filled out an admissions interview, my FAFSA, and officially applied!

It's all happened so fast. Some think that this isn't the right thing for me, that I am just doing this because of a tv show. Yes, a tv show gave me the inspiration and motivation to look into it but it isn't the reason I going forward with it. Every career assessment I have taken throughout my life has suggested going into psychology or counseling. I've always found it interesting, especially with my own struggles. More importantly though, I want to help people. This is something I can physically do to help others. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I know I am making the right choice. I can feel it.

I am so excited to begin this new journey. This time it's going to be different. I never felt like this with my different majors at Ball State. It's all online, so I can do it while still living at home and continue getting my life together. If everything continues to go according to plan, my first couple of courses start in a little over a week! My major is psychology, with a concentration in forensic psychology. I know I have said I am so excited before, but I really am. I feel like I can't say it enough. This is going to be a good thing I know it!